Hail the Bob!

"Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'"
~Bob Dylan

Red Hook White Light

Someone is very very very very very veeerrry olddddd!

Yes! We are talking about a certain Gumpy Old Woman!

Because we should always respect the wishes of the elderly, we had a little celebratory meal at Sylvia's in Harlem, home of the World's Best Fried Chicken according to a certain very very very very very veeerrry olddddd Fried Chicken Expert.. you just can't beat deep fried batter made with one part flour, one part butter milk and one billion trillion part salt! No wonder they say it's dangerous up there in Harlem!!

Later at the party, we had a gigantic (btw the photos are not to scale) strawberry cheesecake from the World's Best Cheesecake joint.. according to a certain very very very very very veeerrry olddddd Best Cheesecake Expert, from Eileen's Cheesecake in Soho. Yummo!

"OK! enough photos already... Can I eat now? Yummy Delish!"

"OK! enough photos already... Can I eat now? Yummy Delish!"

"OK! enough photos already... CAN I EAT NOW? YUMMY DELISH!"

Look Out Tyra! Martha! Oprah! Ellen! Heidi! Jeff Probst! Jerry Springer! Jill Neubronner! Heeeere's Gumption!

Yes! Gumption makes it on American TV.
She's in the middle of The New York Daily New's weekly reality show, "Tabloid Wars!" Literally! (She sits right in the middle of the office.. really!)
Here are some screen grabs of the episode that aired 7th August.
(Btw..for all you Gumptys (Gumption fans) out there.. this episode is available on iTunes at only USD$1.99!!

"Wah ebay is dem exciting!"


"Eh C'mon lah! 10:31pm already! Time to go man!! This is America! We have rights!! You think what? Singapore ah!?"


"Alright.. this calls for drastic measures.. I'll pretend to be a coat-rack and sneak out slooowwly.."


While personally, Gumption feels that her left side is her better side, she is nevertheless always smiling and ready for her extreme close-up!

A Big Hunk O' Peanut Butter Love!

After talking about it for so long, Gumption and Outstanding finally make it down to Peanut Butter & Co. in the Village.
And OF COURSE we had to go for the totally sinful 1 gazillion calorie 'The Elvis'.
Hey! It's not everyday you get to eat like The King!!
I mean 'It's Now Or Never', 'Don't Ask Me Why', 'I Beg Of You'!
It's just that 'I Gotta Know' how good it was!
So 'Don't Be Cruel', just don't get that peanut butter on my 'Blue Suede Shoes', Mama!

Well what can we say but 'Viva Las Elvis!' It was awesome!
It left us 'All Shook Up' and We 'Can't Help Falling in Love' with the peanut butter honey bacon banana sandwich!
It will be 'Always On My Mind!' and we'll love it till the 'Twelfth of Never!'
Hallelujah! Long Live the King!

"The Man Who Invented the Washing Machine" published by QLRS

The Man Who Invented the Washing Machine" appears on the Quarterly Literary Review Singapore, the internet literary journal of Singapore.
Outstanding!..er...Outstanding...
: D

Wah Lau! The Incredible Thought Capturing Camera (available at all good camera stores, $29.99)

What do friends in NYC do on heatwaved Sunday afternoons?
Eat a lot and after, stand in the sun and take group photos of course!!

But unbeknownst to the hapless posers, Outstanding was using his ordinary looking but otherwise incredible "The Incredible Thought Capturing Camera" (available at all good camera stores, $29.99)


What they are really thinking from L to R: "Wah Lau!", "What's happening?", "Wah Lau!", "Wah Lau!", "Wah Lau Eh!", "Wah Lau!", "Wah Lau!", "Wah Lau!", "Wah Lau!"
Identities of the participants have been withheld to er.. protect their identities..

-------------------

For those not familiar with the colloquallism "Wah Lau!"..

Pronunciation: W-ah L-au-!

v. Wah Laued!, Wah Lauing!, Wah Laus!

v. tr.
To pronounce a mild adverse judgment upon. "Wah Lau! So hot still take photo!"
To condemn as harmful, illegal, or immoral. "Wah Lau! So hot still take photo! Can die!"
To condemn to everlasting punishment or a similar fate; doom. "Wah Lau! So hot still take photo! Can die! You get heatstroke best!"
To swear at. "Wah Lau! So hot still take photo! Can die! You get heatstroke best! Wah Lau!"

v. intr.
To swear; curse. "*%&$^#*$! Wah Lau! %#@%#&!"

interj.
Used to express puzzlement, anger, irritation, or annoyance. "Wah Lau! What's happening?!"; Wah Lau! Too much! Angry man!"; "Wah Lau! Why like that?! So irritating!!!"; "Wah Lau! How can like that?! Dem Annoying!!!"

Everybody Make Some Noyce!

Outstanding and Gumption go for an exhibition by their fine artist friend Sean Noyce. Originally from Utah he is a visual artist as well as art director at the Staten Island Advance. Here they pose in front of one of Sean's painting.


Outstanding: " Alright Sean, the Musketeer look is cool but the straw just has to go!"
Sean: "Whartsht shtrawshss..?"
Gumption: "Duh! Can anyone tell me how many clowns there are in this photo!?"